Archive for Tweetwaffle

Greatest Of All Time

This description is perhaps arguable:

But this one, maybe not so much.


The fluffy side of paranoia

And so he asks:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: My social media is getting too popular should I switch it too private?

Well, he should, but not for the reason he thinks:

My Instagram pics have gained top post. I feel people are imitating me, taking ideas from me, and even stalking me. You see whenever I would tweet things of my interest on Twitter strange things would happen. I would go in public where I would hear conversations where it would sound like somebody referencing something I just tweeted not to long ago or the other day. Ok I would set trends on my Instagram wearing certain clothing and fashion and I would go to college or even other places seeing people I never met with a almost on point fashion since. Then I just bought I new car where afterwards I would see everybody in town suddenly driving the exact same cars. I would go to a store or a shop in my neighborhood where suddenly these people who would coincidentally have the same cars and fashion since would mysteriously appear whenever I would pull up to buy a soda, or go shopping or even just pump my gas it would seem like these clones where now everywhere from my neighborhood to my school and even when I cease my social media activity it continues but now it has gone too far. You see I live on a considerably quite block in my neighborHood and lately I have lately seen this same reoccurring people driving/walking by housing every now and then sometimes even when I step outside my front door sometimes when I step outside my car. I think I may be locally famous in my neighborhood and I have considered moving. Should I just put my social media on private cause this is just crazy.

Obviously this child is insane and should be confined at least until Twitter goes bankrupt.

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He’s right, you know

Not to mention wonderfully terse about it. The question posed:

And the answer, in the very next minute:

And that would seem to be that.

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Learning to conform

I noted last week that it’s really quite all right to be different. Then again, I am sixty-four years old. It’s harder to reach that conclusion if you’re fifty years younger than that:

One form of bullying — one form I experienced a lot as a kid — is for people to find something about you that is DIFFERENT, and to harp on that difference. And it gets to the point where even if you liked being different in that way at the outset, you come to hate it, because the fact that you don’t fit in, that this other person sees you as weird, is being shoved in your face day in and day out. Few adults are strong enough to stand up to that, and even fewer kids.

(I will present as an exhibit: how in 7th grade I forced myself to listen to “top 40 radio” even though I hated it, because I felt like I needed to know what songs and artists were popular, and I knew that the kids thought I was weird because I listened to WCLV instead, and that I liked classical music. Yeah, I did something I hated in the name of seeming more “normal.” Spoiler alert: it didn’t work.)

I had my own issues in seventh grade, one of which was still being nine years old at the beginning of the first semester. I did not take it well. And being so far chronologically offset from the rest of the class, I didn’t quite fit in with the Scarifyingly Heterosexual school activities, which led some to murmur that I might be happier with the boys. Not them, of course. It is a measure of how bad off I was socially that I didn’t realize what they were saying until several years later.

Plato probably didn’t actually say “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle” but the statement is still a good and a true one. And it seems that as the world becomes harder and colder (or appears to have), more and more people are forgetting to be kind — or are deciding not to, in the interest of getting ahead/getting someone to notice them/throwing a punch before someone throws it at THEM … and, it just doesn’t HELP.

This latter paragraph is about fifty-five percent of Twitter, and about eighty-five percent of political Twitter.

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They were not amused

The Turkish government, these days, tends to be irascible:

A former Turkish beauty pageant winner may face up to a year in prison over a tweet referring to last year’s failed military coup that cost her “Miss Turkey” title, the private Doğan news agency said on Thursday.

An Istanbul prosecutor has indicted 18-year-old Itır Esen, who in September was stripped of her title after one day, for “publicly humiliating a segment of the society” following three official complaints over her tweet, Doğan reported.

What she said:

Troublesome tweet by Itır Esen

“I had my period on July 15 morning to celebrate the day to commemorate martyrs. As a representation of our martyrs’ blood, I am commemorating this day by bleeding.”

Sarcasm is wasted on some people.

The importance of the 15th of July:

Around 250 people, mostly unarmed civilians, were killed and over 1,000 wounded in the failed coup bid on July 15, 2016. The day was later declared Democracy and National Unity Day and a public holiday in Turkey.

Replacing Itır Esen: runner-up Aslı Sümen.

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I think this may be a bot

It’s just a hunch.

Twitter profile for Cindy Weaver

Perhaps atypically for a bot, she hasn’t said anything.


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Time I will never get back

Like, ever:

Tweeten profile screen at 100000 tweets

That’s a lot of damn tweets.

[shakes head, moves on to next activity]

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Intermittently amusing

That infectious laugh of hers again. “Did I mention you’re hilarious?” — Vent #1036

Well …

Some days I can put it all together. And then there are all those other days.

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140 and holding

Twitter would have you believe:

Our research shows us that the character limit is a major cause of frustration for people Tweeting in English, but it is not for those Tweeting in Japanese. Also, in all markets, when people don’t have to cram their thoughts into 140 characters and actually have some to spare, we see more people Tweeting — which is awesome!

Although we feel confident about our data and the positive impact this change will have, we want to try it out with a small group of people before we make a decision to launch to everyone. What matters most is that this works for our community — we will be collecting data and gathering feedback along the way. We’re hoping fewer Tweets run into the character limit, which should make it easier for everyone to Tweet.

I suspect I hit 140 more than most people, but I’ve never considered that a problem: if anything, it helps me gather experience with editing, which is hardly a disadvantage.

And I’m not among the selected few. If I were, I’d probably use all 280 to complain that two things I actually would appreciate — the ability to edit something previously Twote within about five minutes or so, and a rational code of conduct — were passed over in favor of making life easier for the garrulous.

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Shat yourself

There’s always one, right?

Quickly followed by:

You. Do Not. Mess With. The Shat.

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I feel insulted

A random data point from Entrepreneur:

On average, employees have 10 times more followers than their company’s social media accounts.

Who’s bringing down the average? I have almost 100 times more.

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Prophecy fulfilled

This may have been anticipated by Conan O’Brien:

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: “Duh.”

So let it be written, so let it be Duh’ed.

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Lured in

Normally I blow off new followers unless there’s some compelling reason for me to check out their timelines, on the off-chance I might find something interesting. I did not do that yesterday. Instead, I decided to pick up on this one:

Twitter profile page of Charlotte Chenaux

To my discomfiture, she responded with a DM, and the following non-conversation ensued:

Conversation such as it is between me and Charlotte Chenaux

Oddly, she didn’t seem all that interested in “Gouvernement & Politiques.”

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Someone who’s been checked out

What most people want in a dating app, supposedly, is some form of selectivity: How do you keep out the riff and/or raff? If you think a checkmark on a blue background means something, then this is the app for you:

BLUE is a new premium version of the existing dating app Loveflutter, and it promises to let you into an exclusive world full of “celebrities and other Twitter blue tick holders.” That is, if you’re verified yourself. This may either sound amazing or like a total nightmare, depending on how you feel about the people of Twitter.

Loveflutter has actually been around since 2013, but they recently relaunched as the first dating app to rely on your tweets to find you matches. Their mission is “to turn ubiquitous flirting on Twitter into something real,” and now they’re offering the chosen members of the platform’s elite an even more VIP experience.

If this gizmo actually has read more than a handful of my 95,000 tweets, it’s probably already declared me as Forever Alone and banned my mention on the premises.

And do take this advice:

Picking from some of the roughly 200,000 verified Twitter users also doesn’t necessarily mean you’re guaranteed to date a celebrity — or even someone who’s internet famous. And being Twitter-verified certainly doesn’t have anything to do with being a good person or even a particularly interesting one.

Nor, I might point out, does not being Twitter-verified.

(Via Dana Schwartz, who is interesting, attractive, and above all verified.)

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More of that Us vs Them stuff

“If the president does it, that means it’s not illegal.”

So said Richard Nixon, to David Frost in 1977. Eric Holder, Barack Obama’s last Attorney General, was utterly dedicated to that idea; Donald Trump, autocrat that he is, has made similar noises.

Now Nixon wasn’t around for Twitter, but I am persuaded that his own little fan club would loudly support him; partisans, at least as far as I can tell, will happily endorse this idea if their guy is President, and will loudly reject it otherwise. To test this notion, I tossed off an ad hoc Twitter poll; obviously, it’s not at all scientific, and the sample size is tiny, but the numbers lined up almost exactly the way I thought they would:

Persuaded as I am that almost everything the government does violates the Constitution in one way or another — well, okay, they’re allowed to deliver the mail — I just wonder where the hell we’ve been getting all these farging megalomaniacs, and the lackeys to serve at their beck and call.

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Running off at the beak

I have never followed Donald Trump on Twitter, and I really don’t have to: sooner or later, anything he tweets will end up in my timeline. But there’s very little reason to care about his little sub-paragraph explosions:

I don’t care about the president’s nasty tweets because I’m more concerned about his incoherent foreign policy, his foolishly protectionist trade policy, his shaky grasp of basic economics, his inconsistency on issues like immigration and health care policies and a host of others. Despite a few bright spots like James Mattis, Neil Gorsuch, Nikki Haley and probably Jerome Adams, President Trump is already building his Democratic opponents a solid case in the 2018 elections. Compared to these things, the tweets mean less than the product that comes out of the other end of the bird.

Fortunately for The Donald, the Democrats are constantly finding new ways to crap all over themselves; it’s not really necessary for him to point them out. And there is one saving — well, not grace exactly: desperate would-be Hillary-humpers like Peter Daou (among others, but he’s about the worst) have been reduced to a mixture of incoherent sputtering and outright whining, providing sporadic entertainment.

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Duel loyalties

This is basically “Judy’s Turn to Cry” boiled down to 140 characters or less:

March 2017 tweet by @5iine, on the subject of fidelity or lack thereof

“I’m so glad I’m not in the dating market any more,” says Peter Grant. I can’t say as I blame him. And I checked: that Twitter account is suspended, though I have no idea why.

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Says here it’s an act

It’s not that I object to the premise, it’s that I hate acronyms and backronyms of this sort:

The true definition of “covfefe” — born from a deleted, after-midnight tweet from President Trump — remains unsettled, even to the commander in chief, who appeared to mistype it into existence on Twitter last month. But a congressman from Illinois wants to bring new meaning to the word.

The COVFEFE Act, introduced by Rep. Mike Quigley (D-Ill.) on Monday, aims to preserve tweets from the president’s personal Twitter account, ensuring that Trump’s social-media posts are archived as presidential records.

“In order to maintain public trust in government, elected officials must answer for what they do and say; this includes 140-character tweets,” Quigley said in a statement. “If the President is going to take to social media to make sudden public policy proclamations, we must ensure that these statements are documented and preserved for future reference.”

Seems perfectly reasonable to me. I just wish Quigley’d called it something else; nine times out of ten, a stupid name undoes a sensible law. (The other time, it’s something like the PATRIOT Act, which was a stupid law with a stupid name.)

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That which I tweet

This is bannered “Interests from Twitter,” and if nothing else, this makes me wonder if Biz Stone has been summoned just to clean up the mess:

These are some of the interests matched to you based on your profile and activity. You can adjust them if something doesn’t look right.
Action and adventure
Automotive news and general info
Beginning investing
Biographies and memoirs
Board gaming
Business & Finance
Business and finance
Business and news
Business news and general info
Car Culture
Car culture
Celebrity fan and gossip
Drawing and sketching
Financial news
General info
Indie spotlight
Make-up and cosmetics
Movie news and general info
Music news and general info
NBA basketball
Performance arts
Political elections
Politics and current events
Sci-fi and fantasy
Sci-fi and fantasy
Science News
Science news
Space News
Sports themed
Talk radio
Tech News
Tech news
Women’s outerwear
Women’s shoes
Women’s tops

What I’d like to know:

(1) The difference between “Business & Finance” and “Business and finance.” Ditto “Tech News” and “Tech news,” or several other seeming (or actual) duplicates.

(2) Why I should give a flip about any of this.

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Nobody rides for free

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Don’t mess with Counselor Troi

So this little dustup happened:

How Marina Sirtis got dragged into this thread, I don’t want to know. Anyway, she was right back at Mr. Mansions:

When Deanna Troi asks “How big is yours?” it’s all over.

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The dreaded Dislike Button

No, I didn’t.

There hasn’t been a lot of conversation about it because Twitter hides their negative option quite well and it does not appear consistently. Of a dozen or more tweets I looked at, I saw “I don’t like this tweet” only a few times. (Twitter wouldn’t elaborate on how often or under what conditions the option appears.) Plus, the Yin to Twitter’s “like” heart Yang, doesn’t show up in your stream. Still, the language could not be clearer.

Is this a Good Thing? Not necessarily:

Disliking a tweet in the heat of the moment applies a long-time sentiment to your Twitter timeline for a temporary feeling. You can undo it in the moment, but not go back later when you feel differently.

More importantly, we’ve already seen what the “like” up-voting opinion bubble does on Facebook. Last year, people kept liking content that synced with their values and beliefs and ignoring (or maybe choosing “angry”) for anything that didn’t. Facebook’s EdgeRank algorithm expertly scrubbed all the non-conforming stuff so Facebook users could live in their perfect social media thought bubbles.

Twitter’s decision, in September 2016 (just two months before the presidential election), to give us a dislike option for tweets could have had the same effect. The platform is already polarized.

Is it ever. And “mute” doesn’t seem to work consistently: should you have someone muted, it doesn’t mean that someone else can’t retweet that someone right back into your timeline. The “dislike” function doesn’t seem to work with TweetDeck at all.

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Heard instinct

It doesn’t happen often, but when it does I feel an ever-so-slight urge to strut a bit:

High temperature in OKC today was 81°F. There have been a couple of days in Februarys past when we saw 90 or more, but I don’t see any of those on the horizon.

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A politics-free zone

In the best of all possible worlds, the entire world would be a politics-free zone. But this isn’t happening:

I started following a few “pretty pictures” accounts on Twitter to try to counteract a lot of the political stuff that’s being discussed on there. And then guess what: yesterday afternoon an account or two of them suddenly decided that it was time to get political.

They chose … poorly.

I think about a lot of this, and I think about something the survivalist types talk about, the whole “head on a swivel” idea — that every public place now is Potentially Dangerous, so you need to be in a state of heightened awareness and that just exhausts me and makes me want to be a hermit. I mean, I have halfway-decent situational awareness just because I’m observant and my history of being teased and made the butt of jokes makes me super sensitive to “hey, this thing isn’t quite right in my environment” but the idea of thinking of five escape routes for every part of the wal-mart I might happen to be in just makes me exhausted, and makes me almost want to say, “Okay, if a crazed shooter wants to take me out while I’m buying frozen cauliflower, then it was my time to go, and hopefully I’ll have that last chance to ask forgiveness for my sins before I die…”

And I think the being hyper-aware of political stuff is similar.

I stick by what I said yesterday to a friend in Canada:

And if anyone should come back with “But … but we’re marginalized!” I’m going to reply “Yet I can still hear you.”

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In which I hit a nerve

Apparently I did well with the Friday Twitter burst of #FactCheckASong, delighting several with this one:

My apologies to the late Harry Nilsson, who argued on behalf of an integer.

And frankly, I liked this one better, but it didn’t get much in the way of traction:

No figuring these Twitter folk.

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Tweeting up a storm

I promised myself I wouldn’t get bogged down on Twitter during the election returns.

As I probably should have expected, I failed miserably:

Your Tweets earned 7,374 impressions over the last 24 hours

Although this doesn’t compare with the 22nd of October, during which I picked up 19,738 impressions with a lot less controversy.

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Poor, poor, pitiful she

“Why does nobody follow my social media?” she wails:

Well I tell a little lie, I do get a few followers now and then, on Instagram, Twitter and so on, I don’t use Facebook anymore, but I don’t have as many as some people and when I do get followers, they don’t even appreciate what I have to post, otherwise what was the point in them following me in the first place? I don’t what I’m doing wrong. Everyone else just seems to have it easy. They can get away with posting selfies of themselves and gets lots of likes and comments for them, I’ve never gotten anything like that in my life. I think I must come off as fake to people. But nothing about me is fake at all, whatever I post is true to what is happening in my life in the present moment. People seem to be inspired by others’ happiness but my own. Say I post a picture of me smiling, nobody gives a damn. It doesn’t feel fair. I’m a human being too with interests, passions and hobbies like everyone else.

I’ve always assumed that my vast social-media following has been due to my mad grammar skillz.

Still, this is worrisome, because someone who thinks she’s entitled to X amount of attention on screen probably thinks she’s entitled to comparable levels of attention in Real Life. Of such is madness born.

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The roll I was on

Short, but not too big around:

One of those was automated. That leaves 38 tweets actually typed in, over a period of 60 minutes. Maybe my brain isn’t totally addled after all.

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Tweets to come

A prediction by Christopher Johnson:

Twitter, the single greatest collection of idiots, morons and nitwits ever assembled in one place anywhere in the universe, will eventually become so gigantic that it will collapse in upon itself and form a massive Black Hole of Stupidity which will destroy existence as we know it.

Compare this outcome to the one projected by Conan O’Brien:

In the year 3000, YouTube, Twitter and Facebook will merge into one super time-wasting site called YouTwitFace.

I don’t think it will take that long, really.

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There’s always another obstacle

In this case:

Sometimes, that thin wire is all you have.

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