Archive for Ventually

Physical inventory

Remember when you filled out one side of a card, slapped a stamp on the other, and the mThe trouble with trying to do what the cool kids do rather rudely presents itself when you’re neither cool nor a kid. Believe me, I know.

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Bad automotive ideas

The worst automotive idea I can recall was the skirted front fenders of the bathtub Nash, both standard- and Rambler-sized, which made for a turning circle unworthy of a school bus.

But geez, there’s an awful lot of competition for second place.

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Your guess is as good as mine

It might even be better. I have little faith in my ability to prognosticate. Actually, I have little faith in anyone’s ability to prognosticate, but I can take responsibility only for my own misestimates.

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On the Answers beat

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Don’t ever get sick

To misappropriate a line from J. B. S. Haldane, it’s not only more expensive than we imagine, it’s more expensive than we can imagine.

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Windows Live Fail

I have twenty-one years’ worth of email in the archives here. And you would not believe what I had to go through to keep access to it.

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Girl for hire

That title probably suggests something very obvious to you.

And you would be correct.

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It was a very odd year

Frank Sinatra did it his way; I figure, I might as well do it mine.

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The invisible hand job

It is seemingly de rigueur these days to disparage the economics we learned from Adam Smith, but if you ask me, they’re just jerking us around.

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A morning’s worth of Facebook

All Facebook is divided into three parts: family matters, social interaction, and conspiracy theories. Today I got one of each.

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Lowball express

Two things arrive here in mid-autumn: the bill for the renewal of my current homeowner’s insurance, and suspicious-looking counteroffers from that company’s competitors. It was, of course, always thus, and by “always” I mean “for the 15 years I’ve lived in this one spot.” Once in a while, though, I want to see what the competition is up to.

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A million tomorrows

As seen, or as imagined, from not quite twenty thousand days ago.

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Your 2018 State Questions

Nine questions went through the mill; five of them will appear on the General Election ballot next month.

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Rising gorge

You ever have one of those days? Today has equaled about three of them.

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Miseries past

“Well, it sounds like you’ve been unhappy for a long time.”

“Honey, you have no idea.”

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Pick on someone your own caliber

That’s the long-time motto of the Pink Pistols, perhaps the best-known of the gay gun-rights groups.

With the Pistols being merged with Operation Blazing Sword, I thought you might want to hear from the woman now running the show.

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They say it’s painless

A brave man once requested me
To answer questions that are key
Is it to be or not to be
And I replied, “Oh why ask me?”

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Everything from here down

“Tell me where it hurts,” says the doctor.

“I think I just did.”

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Three million

That’s how many people have visited this place over the years, though several have actually been here more than once.

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Barren newsstand

In a matter of 21 months, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania went from having two daily newspapers to having none. At the very least, this deserves some sort of discussion.

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This shouldn’t be about me

Arlo Guthrie:

“During these hard days and hard weeks, everybody always has it bad once in a while. You know, you have a bad time of it, and you always have a friend who says “Hey man, you ain’t got it that bad. Look at that guy.” And you at that guy, and he’s got it worse than you. And it makes you feel better that there’s somebody that’s got it worse than you.

“But think of the last guy. For one minute, think of the last guy. Nobody’s got it worse than that guy. Nobody in the whole world. That guy… he’s so alone in the world that he doesn’t even have a street to lay in for a truck to run him over. He’s out there with nothin’. Nothin’s happenin’ for that cat.”

There are times when I have to remind myself that I’m not the last guy.

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Now this is a platform

No platform is the practice of of preventing someone — either through policy or through protest — from spreading their ideas through a particular event or website. The term is mostly used to refer to rescinding an invitation to someone asked to speak at an event (such as a guest lecture at a college). The concept apparently originates from a policy used by the British National Union of Students to prevent people they disagree with from giving speeches on UK college campuses. The concept is similar to the political action of cordon sanitaire, where a politician or political party is either unconditionally excluded from coalitions or other forms or cooperation, or even completely ignored. “No platform” is typically invoked for issues such as racism, sexism, homophobia, Holocaust denial, and so forth. As what is and is not acceptable by society changes with the times, so do the targets of “no platform”, with 2015 seeing protests of speakers seen as transphobic or Islamophobic who consider themselves progressive as they are feminists or atheists, respectively. No-platforming is, at best, an attempt to prevent a balance fallacy, with protesters refusing to allow tacit endorsement of reactionary views. ~ “No platform,” RationalWiki, as of 8 August 2018.

If “no platform” is your modus operandi, have I got a platform for you!

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Fear of disconnection

Once upon a time, a power outage was almost an adventure.

Now it scares the fark out of me. What’s changed?

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Unserious deficiencies

There are many ways to torture oneself: a feigned asceticism intended to impress the neighbors; maintaining a list of every faux pas you’ve ever committed and reviewing it on a regular bases; watching a whole lot of cable news. Apparently my torment of choice is Yahoo! Answers.

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Three hundred ponies

More than once, I thought, it seemed like a stampede.

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Pick a name and stick with it

You’ve run a blog for seemingly all your life. Now your life is changed, and not for the better. What to do with that blog?

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Where did that come from?

“The memories of a man in his old age,” sang Pink Floyd, “are the deeds of a man in his prime.” I would aver that sometimes they’re the deeds, or the attitude, of a kid not even imagining manhood yet.

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So shut up and die already

Few phenomena of which I’m aware are capable of instilling as much will to live as the existence of a government which seems to want you to die.

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The older, the bitter

A new book by Jonathan Rauch says that yes, mid-life crises are scary, but that they eventually go away. This might even be true; I know my life improved markedly from 50 to 60, before everything went to hell.

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Take my life. Please.

This started out as an attempt to be funny about suicide. Imagine how well that might have worked in the hands of someone with talent.

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