Archive for Wastes of Oxygen

It pays to crap

That New Jersey school superintendent who used to, um, soil a rival’s grounds is leaving his old job, and a hole in the district’s budget:

The “Pooperintendent of Schools” accused of repeatedly defecating on school property will receive more than $100,000 from his district in New Jersey until he resigns, according to a report.

Under a separation agreement, Thomas W. Tramaglini, the former Kenilworth Public Schools superintendent, will be paid his full salary through the end of September in addition to two months severance pay and $23,827 in unused vacation time, NJ.com reported.

Tramaglini, 42, was suspended with pay from his job in May following his arrest for allegedly defecating in public, lewdness and littering.

If there’s an explanation for this, neither Tramaglini nor his former employer has said what it is.

(Via Stephen Green.)

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Not annoying enough

Already this is worrisome: “How can i make my turbo spool up louder with out putting a new turbo on?”

Here’s what we’re up against:

Im on a low budget and I was wondering if there was any way i can make my turbo spool louder? Will I have to do a muffler delete? Install BOV or CAI?

Removing the muffler is almost certainly illegal. Any turbo from the last 15 years has its own blow-off valve already, and given the function of a turbo — it scavenges exhaust gas, after all — changing the cold-air intake would have the same effect as hanging a pair of fuzzy dice from the rear-view mirror.

There are basically two issues here:

  • You want to hear more engine noise as you go down the street;
  • Absolutely no one else wants to hear that crap.

The cost-effective solution: turn down the volume on your audio system.

You’re welcome.

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Do not taunt Happy Fun Bison

He will not be amused:

At least the wiseguy wasn’t actually gored. Not all dumb humans are so fortunate.

Addendum: Bozo arrested, prompting this Fark headline: Man arrested for taunting buffalo. That’s just mean, they’re obviously in a rebuilding year.

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Out of stalk

I almost hate to imagine what this person is up to:

How to find out the identities of Facebook members who like a Facebook page that is not mine?

Which is, presumably, every page on Facebook except one.

Okay, maybe she just wants to know about some specific Page X. Still sounds suspicious, if maybe a hair more specific.

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A case of the runs, closed

The Mystery Crapper, identified this past spring, has flushed himself:

The New Jersey superintendent accused of pooping on a local high school football field and track on a daily basis has resigned, according to NJ.com.

Thomas Tramaglini was arrested in May and charged with lewdness, littering and defecating in public. He had taken paid leave from his $147,504-a-year job.

Littering, all by itself, will get other people on the Group W bench to avoid you.

This apparently should not be taken as an admission of guilt:

While Tramaglini resigned, his attorney called the accusations “falsehoods,” and that he will continue to fight the charges.

“A load of crap,” counsel did not say.

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Unserious deficiencies

There are many ways to torture oneself: a feigned asceticism intended to impress the neighbors; maintaining a list of every faux pas you’ve ever committed and reviewing it on a regular bases; watching a whole lot of cable news. Apparently my torment of choice is Yahoo! Answers.

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Order that lifetime bus pass now

J. Random Loser confronts part of the car-buying experience he wasn’t expecting: Car dealership asked for pay stubs right after they gave me the car?

And he frets:

The salesman said get them to him as soon as possible, I went home and brought them to him and he made copies and handed me the originals back. What did he need the copies for? I’m worried because I did something very stupid and lied on the credit application.

As I see it, he has two choices:

  • Give evidence supporting that presumably higher income he claimed;
  • Start walking.

Odds favor #2.

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Short answer: no

For the umpteenth time, this loser demands: Is my Volvo fast!!?

You can probably imagine what it was like the first time:

Ok. All you have to say is Volvo in your question and some gay *** middle aged mother f*cker is accusing you of saying “1998 Volvo V70 troll” So far Ive asked two questions about Volvo History etc. and some queer is on my *** calling me 1998 volvo v70 troll. Motherf*cker, if you’re reading this, I want you to know that I think this is hilarious and a waste of time for me. If the question You expect bothers You that much, is your imput really needed? So you think that You matter that much as An individual? Lmao ypu must be really lonely pr something. You dont know me. You arent helping. And going anonymous just shows what a pu$$y you are. Undo anonymous and come to me face to face.

Says the anonymous loser.

Here’s what he gets from me:

Troll level: below average. Consistent with a person who doesn’t even actually own the car on which he feels compelled to brag.

You got that, loser?

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Karma with claws

I’m having trouble feeling any sympathy for these guys:

A pride of lions ate a group of poachers after they broke into a game reserve earlier this week in South Africa to hunt rhinoceroses.

Three men were believed to have been eaten alive by the predators sometime between Sunday night and Monday morning after they entered the Sibuya Game Reserve in Kenton-on-Sea to hunt rhinos, Nick Fox, the park’s owner, told Newsweek.

Oh, yeah? How do you know they were poaching?

After the incident, authorities recovered the remains of their parts, three pairs of shoes, wire cutters, high-powered hunting rifles fitted with silencers and a type of ax that is commonly used by poachers to remove rhino horns.

Oh.

Good lions. Very good lions.

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Your friendly neighborhood sociopath

There’s apparently no getting away from them:

People built a “mini court” for basketball playing here — for kids. I think the police department was also involved with doing this. It was one of those “Let’s do something nice for the kids in town” thing.

Well, they had to close it at least for a little while. Someone vandalized it by driving across it. And apparently it was intentional, not an accident. This is why we can’t have nice things. And I really do not understand: why does it hurt you so much that kids are having fun that you want to destroy the thing they are having fun with? Surely it’s not that they’re so very noisy close to someone’s house; I don’t think the court was close to houses.

Stuff like that almost makes me angrier than the “big” crimes (like theft) — the person committing it derives no benefit from it (other than maybe their satisfaction in being a terrible person?) and it hurts a lot of people. It’s gonna cost money to fix this, money the city doesn’t really have.

It’s not comparable to, say, opening fire on a busy newsroom, but the guiding principle is likely the same: “You’ll pay for doing this to me!” God only knows what was “done to” the small-town vandal, but it’s difficult not to wish it had been done earlier, and with more finality.

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When you shouldn’t brag

There are dozens of occasions, one of which is “When you admit to breaking the law while bragging.” Exhibit D-plus:

Some people think they’re so damn clever.

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Doing social media wrong

And not just wrong, but outright stupidly:

Ask the NFL how well it managed to enforce #SuperBowl. Or, for that matter, #SuperbOwl.

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They had it coming

The one guy you don’t attack is the Good Guy with the Gun:

Three men accused of trying to rob a couple Friday afternoon as they walked to their car outside a DeKalb County [Georgia] Kroger were shot in the shopping center’s parking lot, police said.

The couple were inside the store at the Wesley Chapel Square shopping center when they were followed by the three men, DeKalb police spokeswoman Shiera Campbell said.

Police said the male victim exchanged gunfire with the alleged robbers, injuring them. One of the men checked into the hospital, and the other two were found at the scene and brought to the hospital by first responders, police said.

Still, the authorities weren’t about to let this go by without some sort of rebuke:

“There was a great risk of people being killed,” Campbell told Channel 2 Action News. “People are lucky that no one else was hit.”

Blame the robbers. Three of them couldn’t hit that one guy, and he was evidently skilled enough to take them out without random shots going every which way.

(Via Bayou Renaissance Man.)

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The droning of the insane

It gets worse when you allow them online:

In addition Comcast my actions against you will not be where it ends. If my demands are not met in time.?

Also I’ve decided to change the deadline.

You now have until the very end of today to restore my internet & cable or I will start taking action against your other consumers & wrecking their lives too.

I refuse to have an ounce of patience & wait until Monday when stuff is actually open.

It’s come to this.

I have no other immediate option to get stuff turned back on.

I do not fear of what will happen to me as a result of my possible rampage & furthermore I will take action against all those that try to stop me no matter who it is, who they are, or what they do. I am willing to put my own life at serious risk just to get internet & cable turned back on.

Besides other people are not me so therefore I do not care about their safety in this matter.

For now I am planning & scheming but I can say that I am close to a result of how to go through with all this.

In fact my mind has changed yet again.

This time you have until noon today west coast time June 17th of 2018.

People will pay dearly if I do not get stuff turned back on in the zip code of 98155 in Washington state.

I hate my life so do what you want with me pigs.

Yeah, well, we hate your life too.

98155 is in the far north end of Seattle, right before you get to Snohomish County. And, I note, not far from here.

But wait! There’s more!

I’m getting the stuff today to say the least Comcast & this time I mean business for real. Last chance to turn the internet & cable back on?

Okay first of all the rest of this post title is “before I really get mad & take action against you & force you to turn stuff back on against your will”. It as usual made me keep the title somewhat short.

Anyway

Moving on

My decision so far is as follows:

I today will be buying the stuff to burn and/or st least wreck the place of the Comcast offices and/or HQ’s (whatever they’re called) in lynnwood & Tacoma.

Still not gonna say who I am but I will say to the very least wreck property & cars outside these areas of anyone parked on their lots as well as anything anyone is foolish enough to leave unattended at anytime.

If I cannot for whatever reason do this today (even though I will try to do this today) keep in mind that likely stuff will be burned down & wrecked at least.

I’ve given many chances now.

To further tell you what to do without telling you who I am I will say simply that you are now ordered by me to turn back on the cable & internet of anyone you have shut it off on this month. If you fail to do this buy 3pm today Sunday then anything I’m saying I’m gonna do now will be 100 times worse when I finally do go through with this.

I think he’d take about a 62 sleeve. And lots and lots of Seroquel.

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I did so return your call

Well, actually, maybe not: Is there any way to make a phone call but not have it go through? Get a whiff of this:

I need it to look like I’ve called people in my call history, without it actually going through and ringing them. (And no, Photoshop won’t work on this, i need it to be in the actual call log not just an image)

Whatever this clown is up to, it can’t possibly be even the slightest bit honorable.

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Serpents’ teeth are way sharper

This thankless child is apparently about as sharp as a marble:

The parents of a 30-year-old man have resorted to drastic measures in an effort to get their son to fly the coop: they are suing him.

Court documents say Michael Rotondo does not pay rent or help with chores, and has ignored his parents’ offers of money to get him settled.

Despite doling out five eviction letters, Christina and Mark Rotondo say their son still refuses to move out.

Oh, how they’ve tried:

Mr and Mrs Rotondo filed their case with the Onondaga County Supreme Court, near Syracuse, New York, on 7 May, after months of unsuccessfully urging their son to leave.

The would-be empty nesters’ lawyer, Anthony Adorante, told Syracuse.com the couple did not know how else to get their adult son out of their house.

“We have decided that you must leave this house immediately,” reads the first letter, dated 2 February, according to court filings.

When Michael ignored the letter, his parents wrote up a proper eviction notice with the help of their lawyer.

There is, surprisingly, a punch line:

Michael is arguing that legally, he was not given enough notice to leave.

No, really:

Michael Rotondo insisted he should have been given six month’s notice to move out, as per Kosa v. Legg which requires landlords to give tenants a six-month notice.

“I just want a reasonable amount of time to vacate with the consideration of the fact that I was not really prepared to support myself at the time I was served these notices,” he said.

During the proceeding, the judge applauded Michael Rotondo’s legal research, but presented him with a similar case which proves he’s not eligible for a required six-month notice to leave.

“I’m granting the eviction, I think the notice is sufficient,” Judge [Donald] Greenwood said.

The lad will, of course, appeal.

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The further adventures of Florida Man

I guess he’s trying to be obliging, or something:

A man was arrested Sunday [29 April] after asking a Florida Highway Patrol trooper if he could run away from the scene of a crash, saying he could get the trooper more meth than he had found in his car.

Scott Ecklund, 32, was arrested on charges of methamphetamine possession and driving with a suspended license. He was arrested earlier [in April] and accused of crashing a Chevrolet truck into a house in Winter Park and claiming to be an FBI agent with an AR-style rifle, police said at the time.

Clearly a loony.

FHP Trooper Glaudson Curado wrote in his arrest report that he searched Ecklund’s car and found meth and a small scale, records show.

Ecklund talked nonstop, Curado wrote.

“Mr. Ecklund was making no sense during our conversation,” Curado wrote. “… He was asking me to let he [sic] run away, that he could get me much more illegal substance that I had found with him today.”

Bless you, sir. I couldn’t have kept a straight face writing that.

(Via Bayou Renaissance Man.)

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Netflix and jail

File this Netflix-cancellation question under “grounded until the day you die”:

so i put in a email that isn’t my registrated apple id email. i am a very bad person because i went in my moms wallet and stole her credit card info because i knew i will cancel it before it started charging the account. so i looked for the subscription in my account on settings and it wasn’t there. i have been trying to find out a way to cancel it. i don’t know if i did it correct but i, logged in to my account with my apple id and put my moms credit card info on that one bc that is one that ik i can cancel. then i logged into the account that i can’t cancel and signed out.

will this stop the subscription?

Were this my mom, kid’s never going to see another screen in his life, except the kind that’s used for mosquito netting.

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Only about a buck apiece

But it’s at least enough to get the perp’s attention:

If there were a Guinness World Record for robocalls, a Miami man may have set it. And now he’s paying the price.

The FCC has fined Adrian Abramovich $120 million for setting up a program that made nearly 100 million robocalls between 2015 and 2016.

“Abramovich is the perpetrator of one of the largest — and most dangerous — illegal robocalling campaigns that the Commission has ever investigated,” the FCC said in June [pdf], when it handed down its citation against him. The fine amount was finalized Thursday.

Even whatzername from Card Services has to bow before Abramovich’s preeminence in this tawdry field:

On his busiest day, October 19, 2016, Abramovich made 2,121,106 calls. The fewest calls he made on a single week day was 644,051; he averaged over 200,000 calls on Saturdays.

The FCC, inexplicably, did not specify an oil in which Abramovich would be boiled.

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A case of the runs

Props to NBC News for titling this “Public Enemy No. 2?”:

The mystery of who had been leaving a daily pile of feces on a New Jersey high school’s football field and track was solved this week when the culprit was caught in the act — and he turned out to be the superintendent of another Garden State school system, police said.

Thomas Tramaglini, who leads the Kenilworth public schools, was arrested early Monday at Holmdel High School and charged with lewdness, littering and defecating in public, Holmdel Township Police Sgt. Theodore Sigismondi said Thursday in a news release.

Tramaglini, 42, lives about four miles away in nearby Matawan, New Jersey, police said.

This is even weirder than it sounds:

To help out you non-Jersey folks: the pooping location is roughly 10 miles south of the culprit’s house. His job is 20 miles north. The guy was leaving his house a half-hour early before dawn to poop on this football field.

And apparently he had time to cancel his Twitter account.

Then again, this all could be perfectly innocent:

Tramaglini appears to be a serious runner. He completed the New York City Marathon in 2010 with a time of 3:48:25, according to NJ.com. The news site speculated that Tramaglini may have been suffering from “runner’s trots,” or “runner’s diarrhea,” the sudden urge to go to the bathroom while running several miles.

But why drive all the way to Holmdel — I’m guessing he didn’t run there — when there presumably are adequate facilities at Kenilworth’s David Brearly High School? At least one explanation is bound to be full of crap.

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Obvious troll is obvious

Someone who claims to be one of Her Majesty’s subjects asks: Since when was America multicultural?

The explanation is thoroughly whacked-out:

I went there on holiday (from the UK) recently, as I’m hoping to be emigrating there. My country is full of Pakis, *******, and eastern European filth thanks to our autistic government. I was under the impression that America was all white and homogeneous. Well I flew into Atlanta, Oklahoma City, and Chicago. All those places I felt like I got on the wrong flight and touched down in Kenya, due to all the bloody black people. I took a bus to Indianapolis, I thought I took a wrong turn and ended up in Cape Town. Parts of Boston and NYC I felt like I was in Rome or Jerusalem.

I have no intention of spending the rest of my life in the overcrowded, cultureless and Islamic UK. I thought you guys were racist and monocultural in the US of A.

What happened to the America of blonde blue eyed girls and boys, surfers, cowboys, trailer trash and Anglo Saxon businessmen?

No actual Brit would randomly toss around the phrase “Anglo-Saxon,” or leave the hyphen out of it.

If I ever make it to Nairobi, which I think would be a legitimate bucket-list aspiration, I’ll be sure to note the similarities to my home town.

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Geared toward dishonesty

I don’t know that I’d admit to even thinking about this sort of thing: Can I pretend I m the original owner to take advantage of a non transferable warranty on a transmission?

I have to wonder which he’d prefer: a $3,000 repair bill or free housing courtesy of John Law.

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He did something bad

Not to mention “stupid” [warning: autostart video]:

A Derby [Connecticut] man allegedly involved in a bank robbery reportedly committed the crime to impress Taylor Swift.

Officials say that 26-year-old Bruce Rowley confessed that he robbed a bank in Ansonia and then drove the money to Taylor Swift’s Rhode Island home where he threw some of the money over her fence.

How much money would it take to impress Taylor Swift, anyway? She’s worth somewhere in the hundreds of millions, and has been known to send impromptu five-digit donations to causes she deems good. You have to figure the perp’s, um, contribution falls far short of these sums.

I waited all day for this:

It was worth it.

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At the very center of the universe

That’s where you’ll find this guy, or at least where he thinks he is: Why do some websites shut down without notice?

You see, he thinks he’s entitled to be informed in advance:

Hi. I have been using the ‘Net for years and I do a lot of research. It can be a bit annoying when you use a certain site for a LONG TIME, and you have material on there that you want to copy and save, and then the site shuts down without the site staff — mods, admins, etc.— letting patrons of the site know in advance they are shutting down.

I think that is kind of rude.

Why do some people who run such sites do that?

I have been on a few sites and the site staff let people know a few days in advance they were doing so.

It would be nice if the people running ALL sites would post a public notice or send emails to let people know they are planning on shutting down.

I would prefer that — that would give me time to archive my material. I hate having to lose material unexpectedly.

I am curious — please help. Thank you.

Well, basically, Bunkie, you’re a shitty researcher and an overbearing jerk. Nobody on the Web owes you anything unless you’re paying up front for stuff, and if you had been, you’d have been griping about how many dollars you think you lost. And I can show you fourth-graders who know how to save Web pages. Are you not smarter than a fourth-grader?

The world doesn’t revolve around you. Never did, never will. It’s time you learned this on your own.

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Please don’t think ill of me

So the guy asks, “Can your friends on Instagram see what feeds you are following?” Which is a reasonable enough question, but then he explains:

Sometimes people will ask to follow me on Instagram, but I really only follow channels like @hotbabes, @sexywomen, etc. so I don’t want them to think I’m a scumbag and shallow.

First answer should break his heart, or at least his concentration:

Yes. They absolutely can see who you are following. Go to anyone’s profile — anyone at all, not just people you follow or who follow you — and click on “following” in the top right. There you go — all your sex channels show up for everyone to see.

I’d suggest he throw in some decoys, though it might be tricky to find, for example, @fansofwallacestevens.

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Imagine what this kid used to be like

The question he poses: Is there a way to see all of a user’s posts on Cafemom without having an account?

I just found out my mom actively talks about me a lot on there, and I HAVE to read it all. I don’t want to make a fake account, but her profile does not show any posts. Posts will come up in Google when I type in “Cafemom and her username” (I knew her username from years ago and it turns out she still uses it) but on her profile there are none, so I can’t easiky find a list of them all to read. Any help? Or is typing “Cafemom+her username” the only way to see any of her posts without creating an account? I’m a 22 year old male, the website even exclusively says only mothers are to make accounts, but I have to read what my mom says about me.

This shows a higher level of education than one might expect from a four-year-old throwing a tantrum, but the emotional-maturity level is the same.

What I suspect Mom is saying: “Thank you all so much for listening to me. He’s a worthless little prick, same as his dad, and I need a place where I don’t have him looking over my shoulder. There have been times I wanted to flood the basement, just to get him out of the house.”

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That thing will get you in trouble

A brief moment of flow has earned a Newcastle resident 23 years in the Big House:

A rapist who evaded capture for more than 30 years until he urinated in a neighbour’s plant pot — leading to a DNA match — has been jailed.

Eric McKenna, 59, raped two women in separate attacks in the North East in 1983 and 1988.

Police had not linked the assaults until they were called to the neighbour dispute in 2016 and took swabs from McKenna which matched the cold cases.

Once a prick, always a prick.

Oh, and this happened also:

The force apologised to the two women after admitting they did not receive the support they should have when they reported the attacks.

Which hardly seems unique.

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Cheaty cheater wants to cheat

The question posed: “If I don’t pass my Florida permit test the 1st time, will the questions be totally different the 2nd time I take it?”

If that doesn’t give away his scheme, the next line will:

Or will they be in a different order? Thanks!

Guy’s evidently too young and untried to know better than to give away his bad ideas that quickly.

One answerer, careful to keep a straight face, pointed out that there are at least half a dozen versions of the Florida test.

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A dealer’s dream

The customer who doesn’t learn anything until after the contract is signed:

I bought a 2015 suv from a major car dealership in my area (ma). And found out after all their talking they didn’t take anything off the overpriced car! They listed it way over the Kelley blue book value for fair market range. The top price was 20k for fair market and the dealer sold it 25k! Is this legal? I bought it Thursday can I return it?

Well, you could always contact the Federal Department of Mandatory Discounts, except for the tiny matter that it doesn’t actually exist.

Somebody else took it upon himself to set the original poster straight, or at least less bent:

Yes…EVERYTHING WAS DONE LEGALLY. You could have tried and negotiated a lower price(they can refuse to sell it for that price too, which also is legal) … but you didn’t.

Yes, you can return it. Be fully aware that they are buying back the vehicle from you and are only going to offer you 18,000. Take the hit, or keep the car. Your choice. THAT IS ALSO LEGAL.

KBB is a suggested value (if you are a sharp negotiator). Car Lots have “professional” negotiators … so way past “sharp”. This is their living, what they do everyday, multiple times per day. You buy a car like ONCE every few years? You lose the edge for negotiating.

They can ask a sky high price for it and hope they get a “biter”. You bit the hook, and they reeled you in.(much like fishing)

You bringing the car back … they don’t have to buy it from you … for the same price. They want to be paid for their work of pushing a pen and paper around … so you lose. (They NEVER LOSE.)

All their talking (talk is cheap) managed to make you lose focus on the actual deal and you signed for it; buying at the advertised price. THAT is your fault.

Having the KBB knowledge did not HELP YOU one bit. Hope that when you resell the vehicle, that THAT buyer does not use KBB guidelines and Out negotiates you. (as you will be asking more than the vehicle is worth — because you are making room for negotiations.) If they see they get the price lower, they are more apt to buy and be happy … while you still get more than the actual KBB value for it so you are also happy.

That is why stuff is overpriced in the first place.

Seemingly random capitalization as in the original.

From what I’ve seen, the nation is chockablock with people who believe that results from Kelley — or the EPA-derived numbers at fueleconomy.gov — are somehow legally binding. In that case, I invoke the shade of W. C. Fields: “It’s morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.”

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More orphan than not?

Some jerkwads still seem to idolize the Menendez brothers:

A 22-year-old man has been tricked by police into thinking that a hitman he hired had killed his family so that he could inherit their wealth.

Detectives discovered a plot to kill his mother, father and 10-year-old sister in Sochi, Russia.

He detailed how and where his family should be murdered, drawing up a floor plan that showed where the cameras were placed and how to avoid guard dogs.

But the hitman he was giving all the details to and agreed a fee with was actually an undercover police officer.

His parents were said to be devastated by their son’s plan but took part in a police mock-up using fake blood with blood coming out of “fatal” knife wounds.

And apparently the guy was already thinking Big Spender thoughts:

After seeing the pictures, the man expressed “delight” and agreed to pay the promised £38,000 fee to the man he believed was a contract killer as soon as he had collected his inheritance.

Instead the son — who has not been named — was immediately detained by armed police as a police video shows.

The ungrateful child faces a 15-year time-out.

If you’ve forgotten Lyle and Erik Menendez, well, I don’t blame you.

(Via Fark.)

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