Left hanging

In the absence of a note from Epstein’s mother, we have these conclusions by Linda Fox:

Could [Jeffrey Epstein] have killed himself? Well, the state certainly made it easy — if not seemingly their preferred resolution to the problem of his ability to implicate some very high-flyers, mostly of Leftist persuasion.

Did he get a message that OTHER people he cared about would be left alone, if he were to be found not breathing?

Did the previous message — delivered, it is said, by another inmate — finally sink in? The message being:

You WILL die. The only question is, how much pain you’ll have to endure before you reach room temperature.

Epstein doesn’t strike me as a Tough Guy. I doubt it would have taken a lot of roughing up to get him to Go to the Light.

On the other hand, he may have placed hope in his bargaining chances — Let’s Make a Deal is the game that is played by most of the Elite when caught red-handed.

And “bargaining,” not incidentally, is in the middle of the Kübler-Ross model. Not that it’s always that cut-and-dried.

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Perhaps this needs more thought

But it’s apparently too late now:

White Water Bay will become Six Flags Hurricane Harbor Oklahoma City when the park opens next spring for the 2020 season. The Largest Waterpark in Oklahoma is also debuting an exhilarating, new high-speed racing complex — Wahoo Racer — a multi-lane water racing slide that gives riders two uniquely different experiences. The park will also receive numerous upgrades and bright, tropical theming throughout the 25-acre property.

“We are excited to add the Six Flags Hurricane Harbor name to our park. Six Flags is investing in new thrills and many other park enhancements to offer guests a bigger, better, wetter, waterpark experience,” said Frontier City and Hurricane Harbor Oklahoma City General Manager Trevor Leonard.”Wahoo Racer is an exhilarating speed slide that thrill-seekers of all ages will want to race again and again for their chance to be crowned Wahoo Racer champion.”

Should you be curious, here’s the full press release.

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A page right out of history

This isn’t quite a scholarly treatise — for one thing, “Friday” was released before March 14, 2011 — but it gets the heavy lifting done with a degree of finesse.

Yes, this may be more than you wanted to know.

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Bypass operation

This guy is clutching at straws: If the State of Florida suspended my drivers license 10 years ago for not paying court costs, is there any State in the US that will issue me a license? Would it matter if nothing in my record is remotely driving related?

The guy has a record, which we probably don’t need to go into. But geez, how much could those court costs be? And this answer would seem inarguable:

The rule is: suspended in one, suspended in all. “Do or did you have a drivers license in another state?” is a pretty standard question on the application form.

Rather a lot of Quorans come up with questions that boil down to “What if I lie?” Shows you where their priorities are.

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Shark treatment

This isn’t half bad, given the nature of its promotion:

A third, a quarter bad, yes.

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Unwanted garment

Fillyjonk wrote this, and she doesn’t think much of it.

I do.

Grief is like a garment of variable size.

At times, it is a heavy wool cloak, enveloping, engulfing, it weighs you down.

At others, it is that t-shirt with the annoying tag you cannot rip out and that only gets worse if you cut it

It is never light and comfortable

It is usually too hot and saps your energy

It is a flattering color on no one.

It cannot be removed, cannot be dropped by the side of the road.

Laundering does not help it, nor does washing it in tears.

It will not rip; you cannot remove it; it is as if it is the enchanted

Shoes from that fairy tale; it has molded to your body.

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Tru to you

A couple of years ago, I mentioned this little boutique hotel from the gigantic Hilton chain. And since I’m holed up in one of them for the duration, I figured I could repeat myself:

Picture a Quality Inn or a Comfort Inn with a makeover along the lines of an Ace hotel, without the hipster restaurants, and you may have Tru by Hilton, which features bright colors, a lobby designed with areas for eating, playing games, working and lounging and efficiently designed guest rooms.

“The rooms got smaller and the lobby got bigger,” said Phil Cordell, global head of Hilton Worldwide’s focused service brands, highlighting the social aspects of the new concept.

Not so small a room, really. And the price is decidedly unHiltonesque: I got this place for $85 a night, which in a town where half the hotels are closed up due to lack of electricity is downright affordable.

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Hard Luck, your lordship

Andrew Luck has chosen to hang up his cleats, and ostensible Indianapolis football fans have been somewhere on the curve between incredulous and irate. Which is fine with the Friar:

I don’t blame Luck one bit. His boss is Colts owner Jim Irsay. This is the man who sniffed down his nose at the idea of radio flamethrower Rush Limbaugh buying an NFL team because of Limbaugh’s lack of character while also being a man who donated money to John “She’s Having My Baby” Edwards and Harry “Lying Dingy Gray Smear” Reid, buying his girlfriend at least one house with the team’s money and developing a fine substance abuse habit that culminated in a 2014 arrest for DUI and possession. If I suddenly realized that I was sacrificing my ability to stand upright in my ’50s and pick up my grandchildren for a guy like this I’d quit too.

So there.

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You got to keep ’em separated

Neha Sharma, thirty-one, is a cricketer on the United Arab Emirates women’s team; last year, she made the Twenty20 team for UAE, a major accomplishment. (In other news, the United Arab Emirates has a women’s cricket team.) This, however, is not about her.

Neha Sharma, thirty-one, is an actress and model from Bihar, India; she began appearing in Telugu cinema in 2007, and made her first appearance in a Hindu film three years later.

Neha Sharma channels her inner Daisy Duke

Neha Sharma in blue repose

Neha Sharma goes seriously casual

Inevitably, the eyes of the lad mags turned her way:

No surprise there.

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The word that matters most in “Manufacturer’s Suggested Retail Price” is suggested: a price can be slapped on the window at the factory, but there’s no means of enforcement, and should a dealer figure that such-and-such a new model is going to sell like donuts at Dunkin’, there’s nothing to stop him from adding an additional sticker proclaiming Additional Dealer Markup.

The new Chevrolet Corvette C8 is just such a unicornmobile, but the buyers are thinking ahead:

A coalition of ‘Vette lovers assembled on the Corvette Forum to establish a list of storefronts that are actually willing to sell the C8 Stingray at MSRP. Originating at the start of August, the thread has been routinely updated by posters eager to notify other readers about the status of locations for the whole month. Some dealers have even used the forum to notify shoppers that they will be selling the 2020 Corvette sans markups and would be happy to have more business.

That said, this isn’t quite a cure-all:

The list also includes dealerships that are not selling the C8 at MSRP as a warning. Posters were citing markups anywhere from $5,000 to over $30,000.

Advantage: some, but clearly not all, Corvette buyers.

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Another statement of editorial opinion

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Quote of the week

Let’s imagine, just for a moment, that the Democrats have actual strategists. What should they be doing right about now?

If any of Mike Dukakis’s people are still around, the Democrats absolutely should give them a call. Dukakis was a pretty terrible candidate, but at least he knew how to run a bread-and-butter, talk-about-the-issues type campaign. The fact that the Dems would have to go back that far, though, tells you just how deep the rot goes. Orange Man thrives on driving NPCs nuts. He wasn’t a New York tabloid fixture because of his antics — any one of the zillion guys making a phone number on Wall Street back in the 80s had similar stories — but because of his personality. Orange Man drives a certain type of limpwristed freak absolutely bonkers, and he takes great, sadistic pleasure in that. Running a point-and-shriek campaign against a guy who lives to be pointed-and-shrieked at is the dumbest thing they could possibly do …

… but it’s the only thing they know how to do. I’m sure there’s a pithy Sun Tzu quote for this situation, but you don’t have to be Napoleon to realize that charging straight up the chute at the enemy’s strongest point is a bad idea. But since everyone involved is one of the aforesaid limpwristed freaks, they can do no other.

Maybe Huawei or somebody will come up with a properly stylish wrist exerciser. I’m not holding my breath.

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Your work is cut out for you

There have been releases of this sort before, but I don’t remember anything like this:

The Vintage Patterns Wiki released 83,500 sewing patterns of pre-1992. You can find pretty much everything from the Dynasty-inspired suits and Betty Draper’s frocks and white gloves. There’s also an 1985 boys’ Reefer Suit and short trousers.

The search can be narrowed to particular pieces, designed and decades. There are patterns from the 1920s, 1930s, 1940s, 1950s, 1960s, 1970s and 1980s.

Lots of illustrations at the link.

(Via Michael Bates.)

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Move away from this guy, fast

I just don’t like the way this is turning out: Why are top fuel dragsters louder than my mustang gt with straight pipes?

It’s like the son of a bitch is disappointed by insufficient noise level from his Ford.

All we can hope for at this point is that he fails a state inspection and has to go back to a proper exhaust system — or that a neighbor shoots him.

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Perhaps the last radio format ever

Florida Man RadioAnd it may not be coming to a station near you:

JVC Media has announced it will debut Hot Talk “Florida Man Radio” on its soon to be acquired 660 WDYZ Altamonte Springs/105.5 W288CJ Oviedo FL.

The new Orlando market station will feature Bubba The Love Sponge in mornings, longtime Tampa personality Scott Ledger moving his podcast Dangerous Conversations to middays, Shannon Burke in afternoons, and attorney Justin Clark in evenings.

So this is where Bubba lands. Surely there must be a place for a radio show with Marilyn Manson’s “The Beautiful People” as bumper music.

The station will debut in early September once JVC closes on its $900,000 acquisition. It is currently running a redirect loop promoting that its former Conservative Talk “The Answer” identity has moved to 950/94.9.

If that was The Answer, what was the question?

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Strange search-engine queries (708)

If something you said landed here, it’s because you typed it in and sent it to Google or Bing or one of those guys, who brought you here, and the logs tell the tale.

you are already a weiner:  Is that you, Carlos Danger?

roz greenwood bondage:  I’m guessing you’ve already ruined your Bettie Page books.

Rosa Blasi In The Thundermans Having Sex In A Video:  Somehow I feel you’re not going to find this on Nickelodeon.

rosa blasi jock itch:  This either.

child winters wilkins daniels conder mills & boon loves… big sky standoff girl behind the scandalous reputation a bride for the boss the italian playboys secret son the m torrent:  That’s a hell of a lot to torrent.

8075 celsius:  Worse than usual for August.

pdq bach look up her dress:  From what I know about old P.D.Q., you’re likely to be disappointed.

amish rake fight gfy:  Well, you know they don’t have tasers.

pink candies that taste like pepto:  The price of candy being what it is, you might as well just have a Pepto.

tumultuousness:  The sine qua non of 21st-century electoral politics.

primejailbait closed:  Oh, boo hoo. How are you going to survive without one hand down your pants?

rat queens rule 34:  Oh. Never mind.

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