Third time’s the charm

Once upon a time, there was a woman who took the name Jasmine Tridevil, and she claimed that through the miracle of cosmetic surgery, she had gained a third breast. (In the interest of aesthetics, all three were in a row, rather than, for example, two up and one down.) Eventually she was Snopesed into oblivion, and that would seem to have been the end of that.

Except that (1) the spotlight continued to call, and (2) why the hell not? So she’s decided to make the hoax into reality:

The more I thought about it, the sillier it sounded. And yet I kept asking myself: “What would be so horrible if she did have an, um, expanded rack?”

So what-the-hell mode kicked in. I figure I’ve gotten four posts from this poor girl and her obsession already; the least I can do is to be supportive.

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Stand-up triple

It occurs to me that we wouldn’t see this trope this often if there weren’t people obsessed with the idea:

Fashion model with extra breast at Milan Fashion Week

I mean, it would make more sense than the explanation proffered:

In an interview with Women’s Wear Daily, creative director Giuliano Calza said that the collection was inspired by the idea of a future where computers no longer has to exist (god save us all), so society has to look back and relearn how to do things without them. It was very “dystopian.”

“We’re a young group here — we’re all under 30 — and I wanted to talk to people our age about the future and get them thinking about plastics, water shortage and the environment,” he said. “Full sustainability is impossible, and I wanted this show to be a wake-up call.”

If you want to get really dystopian, there’s … on second thought, maybe not. And given the trend toward trans visibility, a model with a penis is probably no big deal anymore.

Maybe if she had two penises.

(Via Stephen Green.)

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And here they remain

Three years after Jasmine Tridevil appeared on the scene with a rack patterned after one sported by Eccentrica Gallumbits, author of It’s Just One Boob After Another, made a music video, and was determined by Snopes to be sporting, um, falsies, you’d figure the world had forgotten about her by now.

And you would be wrong:

Then again, where a four-armed goddess holds sway, a triple-breasted woman would not be all that outré.

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The continuing adventures of Jasmine Tridevil

A year ago, we learned about a Florida woman who claimed to have been surgically altered to add a third breast between the standard two.

I assumed we’d heard the last of her, but it’s not so. That summer she put out a BDSM-oriented music video, shot in the Tampa Bay area where she lives. I don’t think I’ll embed it here, but I admit, I’ve seen racier, and probably so have you. And her voice, or whoever’s dubbed here, isn’t that terrible.

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Rack and a half

We’ve dealt with fictional or Photoshopped triple-breasted women before. The idea that someone might actually aspire to this state — well, see for yourself:

Jasmine Tridevil

We are not making this up:

An American woman has claimed to have had a third breast surgically added to her chest.

The 21-year-old, who calls herself Jasmine Tridevil, wants to be a reality star.

She posts videos of her daily life in Tampa, Florida, on Facebook to “show the struggles she faces because of her surgery.”

“Reality star” jumped the shark years ago; it appears to have doubled back and taken another spring. And hey, how many of those struggles would you be facing if you hadn’t added extra bewbage?

Oh, it gets better:

Tridevil has also claimed she had the surgery because she didn’t want to appear as attractive to men.

In one of the videos, she said: “I got the surgery because I wanted to turn off guys. I know it sounds crazy but I don’t want to date again ever. I still like to feel pretty.”

Now we’ve had this discussion before:

Question: would a man be more turned on or weirded out by a third mammary?

Answer: I suspect most would be squicked out, though you may be assured that a certain number would be utterly delighted with the prospect. (Rule 34 would seem to support this premise.)

That said, some of the latter group, were they presented with the genuine article, as distinguished from mere fanfiction and photo manips, might well flee in terror.

And three in a row is more appealing, I’m inclined to think, than any triangular arrangement. Then again, that may be just me.

I watched her video, which runs a little under a minute; I might have dealt with it better if she hadn’t used Radiohead’s “Creep” for background music. And unfortunately for my particular worldview, she has fairly nice legs.

Now to sit back and wait for the “Hoax!” announcements. Please tell me there will be “Hoax!” announcements.

Update: Snopes is on the case.

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The girl with something extra

This is apparently the new spokesfigure for an electronics retailer in Russia:

Media Markt indicia

MediaMarkt, based in Germany, has a talent for coming up with stuff like this: their German Web storefront bears the slogan “Ich bin doch nicht blöd” — “I am not stupid.”

Not being all that dumb myself, I totally recall at least one character like this before. And Copyranter, who turned up several images from this campaign, offers this translation, for which I am unable to vouch: “You will find more than you expect.” I figure that corrections and/or emendations are just a matter of time.

Eccentrica Gallumbits, meanwhile, was not available for comment.

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