Glutton for punishment," I grumbled as I signed out of Yahoo! Answers for another day. It's a staggeringly popular site, possibly because the expectations are so low: there are people who will actually type "Where are my car keys?" into the question box. Unironically, yet. There are people who claim that their Facebook accounts were hacked; in vain will you (by which I mean "I") suggest that for all practical purposes, they gave up their passwords, easily guessed and/or stuck on a Post-It note on the side of the monitor. This could not possibly happen, they assure you.

Mass quantities of grief are connected with the Zuckerborg Cube. There are nimrods who insist you tell them the name of an app, preferably a free app, that will tell them who's been reading their profile page. Would they be fine if someone else used such an app to follow them around? Of course not, because Muh Privacy. I used to quote Scott McNealy at them: "You have zero privacy anyway. Get over it." They never get over it. One foolish chap wanted to see "private instagram pictures," because "My wife blocked me from seeing her secondary profile." This relationship is obviously doomed.

And if these characters are to be believed, no one in the history of message boards has ever been banned for cause: "No reason," they insist. If you figure out (it's not at all difficult) that they tried to evade a ban by creating a second account, which the moderators, not being stupid, immediately blocked, they start talking about how their free speech has been impugned. And no, you can't explain the First Amendment to them. I've tried.

I've been doing some moonlighting on Quora, where the average user IQ is about 15 points higher, but average user avarice is dead even. "Where can I get a free Web site with a free domain?" In one case, I actually had the temerity to trot out "In your dreams, pal." It gets funnier when they disclose that they plan to monetize their imaginary free site. I started sending them to, which will give them a properly minimal freebie and which will not come close to allowing them to run third-party ads. (They could always pay WordPress, but this jeopardizes their amateur status, or some such horse puckey.)

I have mostly stayed out of Quora's automotive sections, largely out of fear of encountering something like this: "Can I co sign a car for while collecting unemployment?" Really. Now what sort of miscalibrated douchenozzle asks a person on unemployment to cosign an auto loan? I suspect it's the same sort that buys a hooptie for $500 and puts a thousand-dollar stereo in it.

The Vent

  26 January 2018

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